I was so scared to be alone.. n when i found somebody whose fond of me...
seems like i wanted to keep him for me only...not for others...
I fet too much comfort being with him, just like I dunt ever feel the same ways to the others…being with him… made me feel totally lost of others,, even my frens or my study…
I used to argue him.. that all my frens suddenly left me or even doesn’t feel don’t want to hangout with me…I used to be to stubborn to understand others feeling but me..
I used to…
Until one day I realize… it wasn’t about my frens… but it’s all about ME….
They were not the one who left me.. but it ws me… I was too antusiastic with my new bf… I was just too excited for the gift that I didn’t get from anyone else on my last birthdays…
Nope.. I’m absolutely not judge him.. I’m not talking about it his mistakes.. it was mine…
In fact.. he’s absolutely PERFECT.. for me … he teach me a lot.. he brought new air for me.. even he introduce me to a new style… he doesn’t CHANGE me.. I’m the one who Changed my self…
***
I thought.. our relationship..were developed..more complicated than it was.. there’s more people who being involved in our circle… it wasn’t just about us anymore.. but it was about the others too… our frens.. our big family…hhfuuuhh.. does it too quick for us to move forward then?
Ya.. hubungan gue dan ner… mungkin bisa dibilang (dan emang seperti itu) udah terlalu jauh… jauh banget dari apa yang pernah gue harapin sebelum ini…
Gue gagh tau.. belum tau dengan pasti kemana hubungan ini akan melangkah.. I just asking the Lord for the best.. not just for me .. but for him… n for us…
Udah lebih dari satu hari gagh ketemu ner.. dan EVERYTHING RUNS WELL… kangen siyh pasti.. tapi kangennya gue gagh terllau seperti waktu liburan kemarin.. mungkin karena kalo pas liburan panjang kemaren itu pas bnaget gue sam aner baru declare.. yahhhh. Kalo sekarang kan udah jalan 7 bulan.. jadi ya.. mungkin udah lumayan terbiasa juga siyh…
***
Ner sering nanya sama gue .. what kind of family and a house hold that I wanted to make…..
***
Sometimes I thought pertanyaan2 itu terlalu berat buat gue… but it’s just different when he said those words…
N u know what.. everytime I saw him.. I thought everything could go wrong in this world.. and it’s really okay for me.. because I have him… I had him on my hold… on my arms which wrapped around him..tightly…
Now I’ m afraid…
I’m afraid of losing him…
I’m afraid… of.. didn’t have him on my bed anymore…
I’m afraid of didn’t hold him before I go to sleep..didnt talk to him again like I used to…
N even more… I scared… to found that he would be happy with others but me…
But mostly..i’m afraid,,, of making his life n future such disaster…n I’m totally afraid of… not loved him on a true way anymore…
seems like i wanted to keep him for me only...not for others...
I fet too much comfort being with him, just like I dunt ever feel the same ways to the others…being with him… made me feel totally lost of others,, even my frens or my study…
I used to argue him.. that all my frens suddenly left me or even doesn’t feel don’t want to hangout with me…I used to be to stubborn to understand others feeling but me..
I used to…
Until one day I realize… it wasn’t about my frens… but it’s all about ME….
They were not the one who left me.. but it ws me… I was too antusiastic with my new bf… I was just too excited for the gift that I didn’t get from anyone else on my last birthdays…
Nope.. I’m absolutely not judge him.. I’m not talking about it his mistakes.. it was mine…
In fact.. he’s absolutely PERFECT.. for me … he teach me a lot.. he brought new air for me.. even he introduce me to a new style… he doesn’t CHANGE me.. I’m the one who Changed my self…
***
I thought.. our relationship..were developed..more complicated than it was.. there’s more people who being involved in our circle… it wasn’t just about us anymore.. but it was about the others too… our frens.. our big family…hhfuuuhh.. does it too quick for us to move forward then?
Ya.. hubungan gue dan ner… mungkin bisa dibilang (dan emang seperti itu) udah terlalu jauh… jauh banget dari apa yang pernah gue harapin sebelum ini…
Gue gagh tau.. belum tau dengan pasti kemana hubungan ini akan melangkah.. I just asking the Lord for the best.. not just for me .. but for him… n for us…
Udah lebih dari satu hari gagh ketemu ner.. dan EVERYTHING RUNS WELL… kangen siyh pasti.. tapi kangennya gue gagh terllau seperti waktu liburan kemarin.. mungkin karena kalo pas liburan panjang kemaren itu pas bnaget gue sam aner baru declare.. yahhhh. Kalo sekarang kan udah jalan 7 bulan.. jadi ya.. mungkin udah lumayan terbiasa juga siyh…
***
Ner sering nanya sama gue .. what kind of family and a house hold that I wanted to make…..
***
Sometimes I thought pertanyaan2 itu terlalu berat buat gue… but it’s just different when he said those words…
N u know what.. everytime I saw him.. I thought everything could go wrong in this world.. and it’s really okay for me.. because I have him… I had him on my hold… on my arms which wrapped around him..tightly…
Now I’ m afraid…
I’m afraid of losing him…
I’m afraid… of.. didn’t have him on my bed anymore…
I’m afraid of didn’t hold him before I go to sleep..didnt talk to him again like I used to…
N even more… I scared… to found that he would be happy with others but me…
But mostly..i’m afraid,,, of making his life n future such disaster…n I’m totally afraid of… not loved him on a true way anymore…
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